If you know me or anyone in my family... then you've certainly realized that we are really hillbilly. The most redneck of us all though... is without a doubt, my little brother. I dedicate this entire blog to you... well... and Hambone, Wangsta, Booger, Aaron and the rest of the crew who I love.
My little brother (calling himself Heavy Von Deezy this time) sent pictures from his newest endeavor. Is it of...
1- Swinging his friends around with the bucket of a tractor? nope.
2- Dragging his friends behind his truck around the grocery store parking lot and through drive-thrus on a couch? nope.
3- Dragging his friends behind his truck around the grocer store parking lot on a giant stuffed animal? nope.
4- Doing sick tantrums and sicker faceplants on the wakeboard behind one of his two boats? nope.
5- Floating the Provo river on a giant inflatable Shamu the whale pool toy wearing nothing but a wife beater, a trucker hat and JORTS? nope.
6- Doin a Tennessee River Run dance in the back of one of his HUGE trucks complete with the Kingdom couch bolted into the bed? nope.
7- Driving around in the HUGE truck on said couch? nope.
8- Freestyle rap? nope.
9- Death defyer's on the longboard? nope.
No, it's none of the above. It is an entirely new breed of redneck... Heavy D has taken to flipping houses. (why now when the housing is such a nightmare? Who knows... but I digress.) The D has purchased a serious stink pot of a house in the middle of the ghetto in Ogden. location location location...
And armed with Javier the Mexican and Roy the Hobo, (that may not even be their real names, I can't remember) he has started fixing it up. He has already removed, are you ready for this? 35,000 pounds of crap. that's right... Thirty-five Thousand pounds.
the lady was crazy who lived there. It was so packed with crap you couldn't even enter the house. She was sleeping in a sleeping bag on a sofa on the front porch. As the D has been working on the house Roy the hobo fell through the roof and must have rolled out front and under the trailer. when they found him (unconscious) he didn't know how he ended up there and he thought he'd been mugged. Heavy D, being the good employer he is to his illegal workers, decided to take them out to eat at chuck-a-rama. At the front they asked if there was mexican food and the guy replied "No Mexican." and Javier the Mexican heard that, got all sad and turned around to leave thinking they were throwing him out.
Anyways... 35,000 lbs later Heavy D made the discovery that the piece of crap house he bought came with a BASEMENT which he didn't know of. Seriously. They were removing junk and they found a hatch door into a basement which they didn't even know existed. Filled with what? More crap.
Good luck Heavy D. We sure love you. I miss you ya big hillbilly. People here don't understand how to have a good time like we do. Come visit and we'll go surfing... or riding garbage cans... or dress up as black people.