Someday... I will join this illustrious club:
The Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists.
Go to the site found here. Search the archives. Admire the flowing luxuriousness of their bountiful hair. Stand in awe at the sheer volume of it. Appreciate the scientific goodness which it's growing out of.
The whole Improbable Research site as a whole if very funny. go here to find it. It's done by Harvard as part of the Harvard Annals of Improbable Research (HotAIR). They showcase funny research and each year they hand out the "Ig Nobel prizes" for the most ridiculous, ignominious research like this one given out in the field of Medicine- MEDICINE: Brian Witcombe of Gloucester, UK, and Dan Meyer of Antioch, Tennessee, USA, for their penetrating medical report "Sword Swallowing and Its Side Effects."