Dec 13, 2009

Christmas Brunch Epic Failure of 2009

Jodi and I have had some spectacular failures over the years such as our ginger bread house of '08, nappy bed head of winter '08, me reading twilight followed by Seth wearing the infamous shirt, the hungry bike incident, Me&Jodi vs Justin&Lauren chickenfighting, Bill Dodge, Bay to Breakers, mustache march '09 etc...
But this most recent one was a doozy of seismic proportions!

Here's the top 5 things that went wrong.

1- the cooks came only 30 minutes before the activity started, hence, the complete and utter lack of being ready when the entire ward arrived.
2- elders quorum plugged in like 4 or 5 electric pancake griddles to one socket which caused a circuit to break and fry half of the holiday lights covering the gym (dampening holiday spirit significantly)
3- the guy who bought food didn't buy "just add water pancakes", didn't buy enough milk, bought tiny cartons of liquid eggs, he bought UNCOOKED bacon instead of sausages like we planned and possibly worst of all, for the yogurt fruit dip he bought like gazillion small individual, fruit on bottom yogurts.
4- only 2 griddles survived the christmas electrical storm of '09 so our ability to crank out enough pancakes and bacon was seriously diminished until we cranked out some hillbilly griddles on the electric stovetop oven. Imagine bacon grease popping and jumping everywhere as too many people are packed into a hot, small, bacony space.
5- the eggs were tasting nasty and bland so our bishop, in what will come to be known as the funniest idea of all time, decided that the best thing to do to fix the problem was to pour an entire quart of bacon grease mixed with maple syrup into the nasty eggs. The result was a slimy, bacony, mapley egg goo that was hilariously gross.

Well- if that doesn't get me and Jodi a new calling I don't know what will. Let's hope for scouts!

way too much happening in this small space

ghetto bacon cooking: ENGAGE!

mind the boiling bacon grease from this randomly placed bacon cooker.

Trying to cook beggs in a gigantic cauldron- not such a good idea. (beggs=bagged eggs, see hilarious post from the past here)
that was one of the few surviving outlets after the great electrical pancake griddle storm of christmas 2009 so we had to use it despite it's incredibly awkward location.

And here's the man himself, my hero, our bishop, who decided the only cure for nasty, bland, rubbery beggs was bacon grease with maple syrup residue.


  1. You can't call it a failure; those mapley bacony greased eggs were delicious! And, Santa Claus found the party. All is well, all is well.

  2. Oh that's awesome! What was the guy shopping thinking? And with the eggs I think it's a common thing among older people. Tron's southern Grandma adds bacon grease to everything. It will be an interesting trip to Georgia when I tell her I can't eat anything she's cooked. I'll hope for Scouts for you.

  3. I always wondered why Harvard doesn't have a culinary school. Now I know